The Untested Doors to Other Worlds
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: [post S3] He wondered if there was a world where his drawing hadn't gone public. Or where he hadn't chosen to draw that design at all. Or he'd remembered to take it out of his notebook. Anything that would have stopped that downwards spiral. And then he wondered if there was also a world where something had happened later down the track to take him right back.


**A/N:** Written for the Diversity Writing Challenge, b17 - write about a major character.

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 **The Untested Doors to Other Worlds**

There was the world where the key was wound, and the world where it wasn't. And then there was the N-field, the zero world, the world of their dreams, the illusions Kirakishou had created… Multiple worlds, multiple realities, each existing in syncytium and connected by only the barest of threads.

And then there was Shinku's words: that there existed an infinite amount of words, dictated by one's choices.

He wondered if there was a world where his drawing hadn't gone public. Or where he hadn't chosen to draw that design at all. Or he'd remembered to take it out of his notebook. Anything that would have stopped that downwards spiral.

And then he wondered if there was also a world where something had happened later down the track to take him right back.

But that would be a closed loop – a place where choices didn't matter and isn't that the one thing he'd learnt? That the choices _did_ matter? He'd chosen to put the doll together and look how much his life had changed.

Yeah, there was so much wasted time to lament, but he had a decent job now (courtesy of a promotion which was largely courtesy of the head manager and Saitou) and something he could pour his heart and soul in to (props and costumes for the theatre). Sure, college was still hopeless, but it would have been altogether too weird if there was something that didn't try to create a living hell for him.

He wondered to his choices less now – but the possibilities more. Now that he knew those worlds existed where he had made different choices, he wondered how they played out. Did he still meet Saitou? Did he still get stuck in a third rate community college – or maybe in some world he made it through middle school. His marks had been good before that…incident. If he'd ignored the world and just went on maybe he could have done it – gotten into some hot shot high school and then a classy university – a proper university.

But looking at his life now, he has to wonder if he'd really be happier that way. Because it's surprisingly fulfilling working in the bookstore nowadays, with pizza-face no longer there and Saitou always brightening him up, and going to the theatre after work and on weekends and being a part of that group he'd never been a part of before. It was fulfilling – and he couldn't imagine himself being some distant surgeon or radiologist or – well, he doubted he ever could have become a lawyer or the sort of doctor that had to spend all day talking with their patients.

There was a part of him that wondered though if he'd get to visit those other worlds. He'd seen the doors, looked through them, and then left them alone because time was of the essence and there was one world in particular they'd needed to reach. But now… and it would mean being able to see Shinku again – and Souseiseki, the doll he was master to…and his younger self… It could mean another life-changing event. It could mean losing things, or gaining things, or doing both of those things. It could mean having a doll of his own –

But wasn't that a silly idea? He was Souseiseki's master even if worlds separate them now and his younger self in the world with the wound key now had the ring of their contract. And he'd had Shinku and Suigintou in this world. Creating chaos. Creating opportunities. Thanks to all of them, he was in a good place now. And there were infinite possibilities for something better – or worse.

And if the possibilities existed, he would surely be granted an opportunity to see them again at least.


End file.
